Marriage By Necessity: How the wish to live together forces couples into marriage in Azerbajan

“We thought, if there’s no other option, let’s get married. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll get a divorce,” says Asli, describing the story of her marriage. “But, as you know, marriages are registered a month after you apply. In that time, our parents managed to find out about our application and even threw a wedding for us, which we weren’t even contemplating. After that we showed the landlords our wedding photos and swore that we would have the marriage certificate within a month. Only then did they agree to rent us the apartment.”

In 2019, the Azerbaijani Ministry of Justice registered 62,484 marriages and 14,857 divorces. Of the 26,312 marriages registered in January–September 2020, more than 11,000 have ended. According to Asli, divorces usually happen because the couples didn’t have the opportunity to live together and get to know each other better before the wedding.

“Even if a couple has been dating or engaged for a long time, once they start to live under the same roof there might very well be some unpleasant surprises in store. For example, a person who is always very neat in public might turn out to be a slob at home. Or something else along those lines. But here — not just in provincial areas, but in big cities, too — young people very often marry people that their parents have chosen for them. They get married, and then they get divorced. And it’s all because the people didn’t know each other. It would be better if they lived together first, and then got married.”

Asli also believes that the requirement of a marriage certificate when leasing an apartment forces them into a paradigm that they don’t want to live in.

“We got married. We decided, it’s all right, we’ll get to know each other better, and we can always get a divorce. But it doesn’t work that way. This certificate is a strange thing. It’s as if it imposes certain responsibilities on you after marriage. You already feel responsible for your husband or wife. Now, after marriage, people start to interfere more in your relationship. They ask when you’re planning to have kids”, she says.