“I took the grenade so that we will explode, we will all die…” – MISSING – VUSALA MAMMADOVA WRITES |

In the first issue of the “Missing” project, the readers of “Pressklub.az” were told the sad story of Alasgar Alasgarov, a resident of Bashlibel, Kalbajar, whose fate is unknown. the story we presented. This time, you will get to know the daughter-in-law of that family, who went missing in another direction, 26-year-old Naiba Kazimova. About this with his wife Allahverdi Kazimov, who last saw him at the scene of the incident, in Nadirkhanli village of Kalbajar. Tartar we talked on the bank of the river.

A river flows to the right of the winding mountain road, and steep cliffs rise to the left. My interlocutor carefully examines the surroundings with tear-filled eyes. He often wipes his eyes with trembling hands. And I’m watching him, thinking to myself:

– My God, how can one determine that point without finding any signs when returning to the place where a tragedy happened after 28 years?

And he walks right and left with determined steps, looks at the rock in front of him from where he stands, turns back and looks at the river, turns to the rocks again and calls with his eyes, cries. Finally, he stopped at one point and confidently said, “Look, it’s here!” he says. As if reading my thoughts, he adds:

– It’s right here! Don’t look, there are no signs left around. These places have changed a lot, the road was not so wide then, the road we were standing on was a narrow winding road. However, the incident happened right here, in this place… I promised him that I would return. I didn’t know that I would be back after 28 years, but I knew that I would be back someday. That’s why I engraved the image of every stone and rock in my memory, and every day I came back here after it in my dreams… You can be sure that even though that day was the most difficult day of my life, I kept it so vivid in my memory that I don’t miss this place even a single step…

– 1993, when you had to leave the village April It was the 1st of the month. A day before – on March 31 Armenia armed units entered Kalbajar and committed a merciless massacre at the end of the “tunnel”…

– Yes, the tunnel already way it was tied to our faces. But we were still unaware of all this. My father called me and said that Alakbar’s children are big, if necessary, they will be able to climb the mountains. And your children are just babies, their legs don’t hold space yet… At that time, my son Vusal was 4 years old, and my daughter Fergana was 3 years old. The people of the village belong to the collective farm GASHe was preparing to leave with a 52 brand truck. Driver He was also my cousin Ziyaddin. My father advised me to take my wife and children as well. village let’s go with the people in that car. We said goodbye – it never occurred to me that I was saying goodbye to my father – and we left. Around 6-7 in the evening, they said on the road that “the tunnel is closed!”. Again, it did not occur to us that a massacre was committed in the tunnel… We returned.

– Back, where? To begin with?

– No, we had to turn to Murov. We arrived by car and spent the night in one of the villages. In the morning weather we left as soon as it was light. But the roads were so snowy that the truck could not go. We all got out of the car and continued walking. Weather cold, frost cuts like a knife, our daughter’s life my friend She tied a woolen shawl on her back, and I held our son on my neck… My aunt Sakina and my uncle Gosh with Ziyaddinsnow, our other villagers are also with us. We traveled for hours with a lot of people I didn’t know from other villages… It wasn’t like now, no phone, no watch… So I can’t say the exact time, but when we reached the village of Nadirkhanli, it was around noon… We saw a tank coming, we were relieved. We thought it must be our soldiers. When the soldiers on top of the tank spoke in Armenian and fired from the machine gun, there was confusion, we turned to the left and headed towards the mountains and rocks. The tank moved forward and stopped by the river. He turned his face towards the mountain and started hitting the rocks above… You can’t imagine the sounds, the cries of people, the screams of babies, the sound of guns, the crash of exploding rocks and the roar of stones falling on us from above…

– And in this horror, there is no place to play with children. You have to move forward…

– To stop was death, to return was a hostage, and to go forward was uncertainty… We were running towards that uncertainty with our babies… We could not be protected from the rain of bullets, nor from the rain of stones that rained on our heads… We had risen so high that I saw my friend fell down. I quickly hid Vusal behind a big nearby stone, I said, the stone will protect from the fire from behind, and God will protect from the coming stones! Then I ran and untied Fergana from Naiba’s back and brought her to Vusal. “Don’t move,” I said. Then, together with my cousin Goshgar, we dragged Naibe and brought him to the children… The bullet hit him in the leg, but wherever I reached, my hands were bleeding… Maybe he was injured in several places, I didn’t know.

I had a “lemonka” on me, I carried it with me for a busy day. I saw, he doesn’t know how to stop fire, it seems unthinkable to climb up with a wounded woman, to escape with babies. I thought we can’t get out of here, death is better than hostage. I looked into the eyes of the viceroy, the children… I said that I will blow this “lemonka”, we will all die together, but I will not leave any of us captive let’s go My aunt was also with us, no one listened, but Vusal started to cry… My hands were shaking… The viceroy came back and said, “Take the children out of here…” My aunt answered that we will take the children out… The viceroy wrapped her woolen shawl in Ferghana and ordered me: “God forbid, take the children out of here!” He turned to my aunt: “Auntie, let the children out!”

– Was the grenade in your hand all this time?

– No, it is Vusal when he cried, I threw the grenade aside… I knew I wouldn’t be able to… But it wasn’t easy to fulfill his wish either. I left him helpless under this rain of bullets and stones, and where did I take the children? I told Bibimgil that you go, I’m staying. I can’t leave the deputy like this. And he insisted… But he said one word – “Take the children out!” He turned to my aunt that I am entrusting the children to you… If you have the opportunity, get them out of here safely.

His coat was covered in blood, I took off my coat and put it on him, tied Ferghana on my back with that woolen shawl, and took Vusal in my arms. “Don’t worry, I promise, I will get the children out of here safely. I will come back after you. I will definitely be back!” I said. And he kept repeating the same words: “Hurry up, get the children out of here without wasting time!” Save them!” For the last time, I told him that I would come back and left…

Sometimes we tied Fergana on my aunt’s back, but she was also an old woman, it was not easy to move in the snow in the mountains… When we reached the asphalt road in Yanshag village, there were so many people running with their babies in their arms that I lost both my aunt and my cousin Goshgar in this confusion.

I came alone with two children. I will never forget… I saw a big stone in the forest, I sat there. Vusal was sleeping on my back. And Fergana was crying in my arms… I tried to calm her down, but she is a baby, she wants a mother, she wants to eat… People passed by me… I looked up to see that I was all alone… Mountainous, Forestthe darkness of the night and the man hurrying forward to go back with two babies… You may not believe it, but I came to the rustle of the people ahead of him way…

– How far were you able to come?

– Murovajan. Here I have already joined the crowd. The military appeared before us. They said, where are you going, male and female? Let the men go back. They also told me to give the children to their mother, you are a young man, go back… I sobbed uncontrollably… I said, “Their mother stayed there”… At that time, a middle-aged soldier grabbed me by the collar and pulled me out of the crowd, a “Niva”he sat him down and said, take this man, so that his children do not become orphans… May God be pleased with him.

Driver He took me to a part of the road and then said, “Brother, we have people, I have to go back after you, I won’t be able to go from here to there.” There is a “road house” ahead, if you go there… I came to see that my mother-in-law is in a “road house”. I told about the incident, I said I have to go back. You stay with the children, I’ll go see how I can get the Viceroy out. I left injured…

My late father-in-law Alzaman also came with me. To return, we hired a car for 400 rubles with the money of that time. Driver he was an old man. Later, when we talked to the soldiers, he heard what happened to us and did not take money. He said, I thought you were going after animals and cattle, I didn’t know you were going to bring the wounded…

– How did you manage to come by car?

– I would walk all the way to Murov and from there.

Allahverdi Kazimov, who told me about our conversation up to this point with tears, turned his face towards the rocks when he reached this place and continued from a height, as if he was raising his voice behind the stone he was staring at.

– In Murov, the military stopped us and told us that we could not go. I didn’t listen, I was passing by. An officer grabbed my father-in-law by the collar and said, “Old man, one of your legs is shaking upwards, and he is young!” I was 29 years old then… The officer said that as soon as he got there, the Armenians would either shoot him or take him hostage. But who will keep those two children? What will be their end? Rest assured, your wound has already passed away. How long can a wounded person live in this snow and frost? We had to go back… The next morning we left again… The same situation again… We left for three days in a row, the soldiers didn’t let us go… They said to understand, Kalbajar already occupied!

– Did the children stay in the “road house” all this time?

– My brother-in-law Shakir’s wife was from Yevlakh, they took the children away. They were waiting for us at Shakir’s brother-in-law. And we came back after being upset from all sides… The last time we had an argument with a soldier in Murov on April 5, we couldn’t cross… The village of Qamishli was already occupied. May God have mercy on me, Alzaman went up to Murov with me in that snow and blizzard for three days and returned… He didn’t leave me alone…

– Your niece, Ms. Tajira, told me that when we left the siege and found my cousin in Yevlakh after living in the camps for 113 days, we saw the children wrapped in woolen shawls left by their mother, waiting for his arrival…

– The children did not let go of that shawl… I fulfilled the last wish of the Viceroy. I saved the children, brought them up and educated them with a salary of 300 manats. Both of higher education bought, started a family. All these years, whenever I looked at my children’s faces, her last words rang in my ears: “Get the children out. I entrust the children to you, take the children out!” That voice doesn’t go away from my ears… The rescue of her children was her last wish…

– From those days, your son Vusal remembers only the moment when they met the Armenians and how his mother was shot…

– He always said that one day he would avenge his mother. When the Patriotic War started, he volunteered and said, “I have been waiting for this day for years.” He participated in the war, “Lachin.” free was awarded with the medal. Now in Ganja child continues his work as a doctor. I have a request from you, wait here for ten minutes, I will go up the mountain and look behind that stone, where I rested the Viceroy…

– …

– I will be back in ten minutes. Ten minutes! Maybe I could find at least one bone? Maybe there is a sign left… It’s hope… hope… I’m coming now…

How can I tell him “don’t go”? Years ago, he left his loved one injured here to the woman He promised to come back…

How do I tell him to “go”? Traces of the Armenian occupation, which prevented them from keeping their word at that time, still remain in these lands. The one who observes us military How do I disobey a police caution?

And the most difficult thing – how do I tell him “you won’t find anything there”? I haven’t forgotten the voice from “QSM-7″… on April 1, 1993, from the headquarters radio station in Vardenis region of Armenia Kalbajar the main radio station in the war zone was given an urgent order to relay to all mobile radio stations in the area. In command captive and it was demanded to immediately destroy and bury the Azerbaijanis who were taken hostage. Because they wanted to hide the traces of the atrocities they committed from the international delegation and journalists who came to the war zone at that time. Azerbaijan National The radio intelligence service of the Ministry of Security is Armenian military 1993, the text of this radio conversation on the air of the commanders of the formations April It was recorded on the 6-7 of the month…

My silence, staring into the old eyes of my interviewer, hung on my conscience like a heavy stone… Hoping to climb up to that stone together with him one day…

Vusala Mammadova